Three points, yes. Satisfaction, no.
Newcastle United’s 2–1 win over Fulham was a reminder that results can deceive. Fulham were dreadful, offering next to nothing, yet Newcastle somehow contrived to make this a contest. Bruno Guimarães’ 90th-minute winner spared blushes, but for large spells this was a performance defined by sloppiness, poor decisions, and wasteful finishing.
After dismantling Benfica in midweek, this was supposed to be a momentum-builder. Instead, it was 90 minutes of regression as Newcastle United continue to look atrocious in the league.
First half: good start, same old story
Newcastle began brightly. Trippier’s well-delivered free kick from the edge of the box was nodded back by Thiaw, and Nick Woltemade cracked a half-volley off the post from five yards. It came from good work by Anthony Gordon, who had tormented Kenny Tete down the outside and drawn the foul that earned the full-back an early yellow. It should have been the moment that dictated the afternoon, Gordon isolating Tete, running at him, turning him inside out. Instead, and infuriatingly, he never seemed to take him on again.
Jacob Murphy gave Newcastle a deserved lead on 18 minutes, as good pressing led to nicking the ball off Calvin Bassey in midfield, bursting into space and finishing confidently across Leno.
Moments later, it should have been two. A lovely through ball from Gordon sliced Fulham open, sending Murphy clean through on goal. One-on-one with Leno, he had time, space and options. He chose the worst one. Straight at the keeper. He could have rounded him, chipped him, done literally anything else. It was criminally wasteful.
Newcastle controlled the half, but only in shape, not in spirit. Fulham offered little, yet still managed to find encouragement down the flanks, as Dan Burn’s impression of a baby giraffe was matched only by Adama Traoré’s failed impression of a professional footballer.
It was 1–0 at half time and somehow already tense.
Second half: pantomime defending, pedestrian football
Fulham made a change at the break, Kevin replacing Emile Smith Rowe, and it immediately shifted the tone. The Brazilian provided directness and purpose Newcastle didn’t seem interested in matching.
Within ten minutes, Fulham were level. Kevin’s deep ball to the back post found Raúl Jiménez, who ghosted beyond Dan Burn with pantomime season arriving early as Burn failed to grasp that, yes, he’s behind you. Jiménez’s shot cannoned off the crossbar and dropped for Saša Lukić, who bundled it in while clattering heads with Sven Botman. Both hit the deck; Both men were bloodied with Botman getting the worst of it. The Dutchman trudged off dazed, replaced by Schär.
What followed was 15 minutes of farce. Both sides forgot how to pass. Newcastle’s shape disintegrated. Tonali, Barnes, and later, Elanga came on, and the game somehow got slower.
Woltemade and Gordon finally combined again, the German laying delicately to Gordon who clipped a beautiful ball into the centre of the box for Bruno, who managed to head over from six yards with the goal gaping. Another sitter.
Elanga then wasted a golden chance after Barnes’ clever pullback, dragging his shot wide from close range to continue his disastrous start in black and white. And when Elanga linked with Trippier to clip a cross to the back post, Joelinton met it perfectly, but planted his header into the side netting instead of the far corner.
It was turgid, wasteful football, and St James’ Park was audibly groaning by the 85th minute as we looked set for another frustrating afternoon in the league.
Bruno saves it (again)
Then, finally, a moment of quality. Substitute Will Osula, on for Woltemade, drove straight at the heart of Fulham’s defence and got his shot away with his left foot. Leno could only parry, and Bruno Guimarães pounced, cool, composed, clinical.
2–1. Ninety minutes gone. Newcastle had got out of jail.
Bruno wheeled away to the Gallowgate, fists pumping, but it was relief more than elation.
The verdict
The intensity and fluidity of the Benfica win vanished, replaced by the half-hearted plod that’s defined much of our league form.
Fulham were toothless. Yet we made them look competitive. That’s the real concern.
If this is to be the start of a Premier League revival, it needs to come with a ruthless streak, not another afternoon of self-inflicted anxiety.
Game at a glance
Player ratings
Nick Pope – 6.5
Made a number of good saves, including one brilliant reflex stop from Jiménez. Could do nothing about the goal.
Kieran Trippier – 6
Set up early chance with his free kick and delivered plenty of crosses, should have had an assist late in second half. Few defensive lapses but was generally OK.
Malick Thiaw – 7.5
Calm in possession and strong in the air. One of few who looked composed after Botman went off.
Sven Botman – 6
One of his less composed afternoons in a Newcastle United shirt. Decent until the collision for Fulham’s equaliser. Unlucky, but arguably should have been stronger contesting against the much shorter Lukic.
Dan Burn – 3
Torrid afternoon. Lost Jiménez completely for the equaliser. Positionally all over the place. This experiment has to end.
Lewis Miley – 5
Tidy early on, but faded quickly. Replaced as the midfield lost control.
Bruno Guimarães – 7
Missed a sitter but redeemed himself with the winner. The heartbeat and the headache of this team — brilliant one moment, reckless the next.
Joelinton – 5.5
Battled well but offered little going forward. Should have scored with his header.
Anthony Gordon – 6
Won the early free kick and assisted Murphy’s chance but went missing for long stretches. Needs to be braver when he has his full-back booked.
Jacob Murphy – 5.5
Took his goal well, pressed with energy, but the missed one-on-one was criminal.
Nick Woltemade – 5
Hit the post early, then largely anonymous. Lacked a presence or aggression to lead the line in a tight physical game against a terrible centre-back pairing.
Subs:
Sandro Tonali – 6 (steady, improved the tempo a touch)
Harvey Barnes – 6.5 (bright, direct, unlucky not to assist)
Anthony Elanga – 4.5 (another wasteful cameo, big chance missed)
Fabian Schär – 6 (solid replacement for Botman)
Will Osula – 7 (changed the game; his run made the winner)
Manager: Eddie Howe – 5
Must stop picking Burn at left-back. In-game management poor as we let Fulham back into it. Arguably needed Osula on much earlier.
